How to Hope in God When a Door Closes (Refined Series)
“God, how is this fair? I don’t get it!” I was so upset over the news I’d received that I couldn’t even tell my family for several hours. My dream of a writing opportunity that seemed to align with my ministry vision ended with an “I wish I had better news for you” letter. The editor had written a kind and thoughtful letter, but disappointment weighed heavy. How do you move on with hope when a door closes?
All afternoon, I stayed quiet; talking about it might make me cry. On autopilot, I finished up the last chores of the day and chopped vegetables in the kitchen as the late afternoon sun poured in through the windows.
That evening, my story tumbled out over the chicken stir-fry with a flood of words and even a few tears at the family dinner table. (Awkward for my 22-year-old son.)
I knew God had a purpose, but the latest shut door opened up old wounds from a recent season of disappointments for our family. What was God doing?
Friend, you may be facing your own closed doors.
You may be wondering, “Is God really working for my good? How can I trust Him with this?” As much as we wish everything in life went according to our plan, we’ve all faced disappointment:
- You didn’t get the job. (Or you lost the one you had.)
- The closing on the house didn’t go through.
- Your child didn’t make the team.
How can we hold on to hope when the door closes?
I’m learning to give God thanks for closed doors.
I always remember a coffee date years ago with an older, wiser friend. When I shared the sad news that my child hadn’t received admission to his dream school, my friend said simply, “I always thank God for closed doors. If God never shut any doors, how would we know which ones to go through?”
That simple piece of wisdom transformed my outlook.
3 Truths You Can Hold on to When a Door Closes
God has ultimate control.
“What he opens no one can shut, and what he shuts no one can open.” (Revelation 3:7, NIV)
I can bang on closed doors all I want, but it won’t change a thing. Ultimately, I must surrender my life to God’s sovereign control, trusting He closed the door for a good reason: He evidently did not want me to go through it.
After I pour out my disappointment to God in prayer, I can trust Him to open another door for me in the future, perhaps one I can’t even see now.
We can trust God’s love and faithfulness.
“All the ways of the LORD are loving and faithful toward those who keep the demands of his covenant.” (Psalm 25:10, NIV)
Even when we cannot see any good in our lost opportunity, we can trust that God is choosing a path for us. A path forged by His love and faithfulness. We may not understand God’s ways in our lives, but we choose to believe they are loving and faithful.
We have a secure place in Him.
“Surely your goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever.” (Psalm 23:6, NIV)
That evening I poured out my heart at the family dinner table, my husband reached out and gently touched my shoulder.
It helped to know I wasn’t alone.
Just like my husband reached out to me, God is reaching out to us, my friend. He longs to reassure us of a promise: His goodness and love will accompany us all our days.
When God closes a door, we can trust He is guiding us down the path He has chosen, a path that leads to goodness and love.
You may not see it now, but the closed door you’re staring at is a blessing in disguise.
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Let’s Chat: What would our lives look like if we asked God for grace to surrender and trust Him with our closed doors?
Which one of these truths from Scripture could you whisper to yourself today?
Will you pray with me? “Lord, thank you for directing my paths. When you close doors for me, would you give me the grace to thank and praise you? All your ways are loving and faithful. Blessed be your name. Amen.”
Meet Betsy:
Betsy de Cruz writes and speaks to help overwhelmed women take small steps to invite more of God’s presence and power into their lives. Her book More of God is a distracted woman’s guide to more meaningful quiet times. Betsy and her husband José have two young adult children and live in Austin, Texas. Connect with Betsy and get a free Quiet Time Renewal Guide at FaithSpillingOver.com.
Connect with Betsy: Facebook – Instagram – Pinterest – Twitter
The Refined Series
Fire refines. First God, breaks our pride into tiny pieces. Then, He melts away our impurities in a crucible of affliction. Every fleck of fleshy fluff rises to the surface and is removed until we reveal His image.
This year, I want to stop fearing the fire and pray:
Lord, refine me through the flame.
For 2018, I asked God to give me a word to guide my year, and He whispered the word “Refine.” For 10 months, Bruce and I have been walking through the fire and trying to not resist the refining work He is doing in us.
I am a very slow learner, and recently it occurred to me I should step aside and create more space to listen and learn during this season. I long to sit down for a heart-to-heart chat with a wise friend who will remind me the fire has a grander purpose. Thankfully, I am blessed to know several women who’ve walked through the fire and emerged beautifully refined, and I’ve invited them to share their story here with the Wildfire Faith Community once a month.
God has promised that the fire will not consume us, but transform us.
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Sign up today as a member of the Wildfire Faith Community and grab a copy of the Refined Manifesto our Faith Fuel Library.
If you are visiting from Betsy’s today,
welcome to my little space on the web!
Here you will find fuel for a wildfire faith to help you
-
- LOVE DEEP: Fervently extend God’s kindness and grace to pesky people.
- PRAY BIG: Go down fighting on your knees with fire in your bones.
- HOPE FULL: Stay tethered to a confident anticipation that keeps your heart ablaze.
- STAND STRONG: Rest courageously on God’s promises with red-hot resolve.
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SUBSCRIBE TO RECEIVE WEEKLY FAITH FUEL IN YOUR INBOX.
YOU’LL GET A FREE COPY OF “4 SUREFIRE WAYS TO IGNITE YOUR FAITH”
and access the practical resources in the Fatih Fuel Library for members.
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If a door closes, our best response is to get on our knees and ask God to show us the way. To help you get started, I’m sharing a copy of My Pray Big Prayer Calendar with you. Join the Wildfire Faith Community and grab a copy in our Faith Fuel Library. Print out your copy and start each morning inviting God to strengthen your step and breathe fresh wind into your weary spirit.
When a door closes, we can feel stuck
and fear taking another step.
I CAN PARTNER WITH YOU TO HELP YOU CLARIFY THE CALLING
GOD UNIQUELY CREATED YOU TO FULFILL.
CHECK OUT MY COACHING SERVICES TO START WORKING ON A PLAN TO
REFINE YOUR PASSION AND PURPOSE.
Great post! I’m glad you didn’t lose heart & have continued your ministry of writing here 😀
You’re most welcome to join me in a cuppa at Tea With Jennifer,
Blessings,
Jennifer
Thanks for the encouragement, Jennifer! Blessings on your ministry. <3
Betsy,
Thank you for sharing your hard-earned wisdom with all of us. This was timely for me.
Agreed. We write on! 🙂
This is timely. My youngest son has had a series of job interviews that went well but ultimately did not work out. Sometimes it’s harder to trust God for our kids than ourselves. It’s disappointing, but we know these “noes” just mean those weren’t the jobs God has for him.
I am so sorry, Barbara. It IS hard to see our kids hit closed doors or experience disappointment. One of my sons recently had a significant closed door, but we believe it is God’s direction for his ultimate good. So hard. I’m praying now for your son.
Barbara,
Praying for God’s favor and a clear path for your son. The waiting is hard. HUGS
Holding On Praying Earnestly = HOPE. Great post Betsy. I always enjoy your writing, you meet people right where they are.
I love that HOPE acronym! So good, Susan. Thanks for the encouragement.
Wow, Susan! I love that acronym. Thanks for sharing it.
Betsy! So nice to see you here! Yes, those closed doors can feel devastating. And it can feel hard to understand that God knows what He’s doing when we feel crushed. You bring hope and truth into this space for us to remember that God is always at work, always in control, and always has our best in mind. Thank you for reminding us of truth!
Amen, Becky! He is always at work, always in control, and always acting out of love.
Yes and Amen!
Your friend’s wisdom is just perfect–and it’s a safeguard against all the false thinking we blunder into that leans toward prosperity gospel heresy.
Those closed doors can be the push in a different direction that is ultimately more satisfying, but even if not, they remind me of the true Source of my Hope in this world.
You are so right, Michelle. The prosperity gospel runs contrary to the experience of the New Testament church for sure! I’ve been thinking a lot lately about what those works in Mark mean: “When ask for something in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.” I don’t think it’s a “name it, claim it message;” I think it’s talking about a deep trust and confidence that God is acting on our prayers. Rather than doubting, we can believe He is acting for our good from the moment we pray!
You are so wise, Michele. We do need to safeguard our hearts an not let the enemy get a foothold when we are facing a disappointment.
Psalm 23:6 that you quoted has become a verse I lean on in disappointment. But I use the EIN version that says “surely goodness and mercy will PURSUE me” I love that imagery. laurensparks.net
That use of “pursue” certainly does a beautiful dimension to that verse, Lauren. Thanks for sharing!
Love that translation, Lauren! Thanks for sharing it with us. 🙂
I’ve had to rely on these truths way more than you could imagine especially in the writing world and my other professional aspirations. Yet it doesn’t leave me defeated but forces me to draw nearer to Him so I can continue to navigate this life.
Amen, friend! So glad you are continuing to draw nearer to Him. May He show you the way and open the right doors for you.
Nearer to Him is the best place to be, Nylse. Praying for God to open up doors for you. HUGS
Thanks for your transparency. I know that feeling too well. God is faithful and He will open the right door in His time.
Yes, He will indeed, friend! Blessings on you, your family, and ministry.
Closed doors look good on the other side and only God sees that other side. For now. Excellent. Tweeted.
Thanks so much, Sue. I appreciate you.
Lovely to see your words here, Betsy! I think closed doors can be a blessing, though they don’t often seem like it at the time. It’s a question of trusting that God’s plans are better than ours.
The waiting is hard — but so worth it in the end. God always does more than we can think or imagine.
Thanks for your encouragement, Lesley! Yes, God knows better than we do the best plans He has for us!
What an encouragement this post was to me this morning.
I’m so glad, Elizabeth! Blessings.
Thank you for sharing of your disappointment in the writing realm and your inspiration to accept that doors closed by God are part of His way of leading us. His grace is sufficient for our sorrows and His plan is certainly better than we can see. I am grateful for your faith to move forward and your care to encourage others to do the same.
I’d like to share, if I may.
Everything was going normally in my life until early August 2021. Around August 3rd, I found out that I was missing 1 credit to graduate from grad school. I was right at the finish line at one of the nation’s Ivy League institutions, something I had only imagined years prior. I didn’t think I’d be able to make it through because of ADHD but by the grace of God I did very well. However, upon further investigation, not only was I missing 1 credit but I owed the university $18K! I tried tapping into every resource possible, but to no avail. Every door closed. Emails went unanswered and letters and applications for financial help were denied. July and August were filled with sleepless nights, emotional meltdowns and frequent, almost nightly calls to the national crisis hotline.
Then September hits. I went back to work and started to get into the swing of things when I woke up to a phone call one Sunday morning from my landlord’s daughter: they’re selling the house and I needed to be available for them to show my apartment later on that day to potential buyers. While I didn’t HAVE to move, but it became increasingly obvious to me that it was something I should be doing. Only problem is, I have no money- no savings, nothing.
November hits. I find out from HR that, if I’m not certified to teach by the end of the school year, it will potentially result in me losing my job. Even HR was given the run around from the Department of Education regarding answers surrounding next steps with my certification.
Today, my WiFi was cut because my new landlord is no longer inhabiting the home and thus no longer can provide that service.
I’ve tried everything I’ve known to do. I got so stressed that I was hospitalized in November. After being released, I thought about how I wasn’t placing anything in the Lord’s hands. While I’ve gotten better at trusting Him, I’d be lying if I didn’t say that this is weighing on me. No money in the bank, 1 credit away from graduating and can’t register for that last credit because of a $18K debt that’s now being sent to collections? No straight answers about my certification. No straight answers about my new tentative landlord. No apartments available especially because I’m a pet owner and most landlords and buildings won’t accept cats. All I’ve done was just zone out and eat. I, unfortunately, haven’t cared to pray at times because it’s felt like “what’s the use?”
I’m holding onto what little faith I have left in the Lord. I know it shouldn’t be conditional and I don’t wish for it to be conditional. but right now, I feel the weight of it all.