When You’ve Emerged Out of the Fire
I’ve never told you something. Something painful. Something I’ve wrestled with and questioned God about almost daily.
I have a sweet grand baby in heaven. She left us after just 4 months.
Her name was Phoenix Jewel. PJ for short. Every December Facebook reminds me I don’t get to celebrate her birthday with cupcakes, and I have a good cry.
I wonder why Abba Father didn’t swoop down and protect her. Why He allowed it to happen. Because I know He could have just said one word and saved her life. But He didn’t.
Honestly, I have a lot of questions I’d like God to answer. We’ve walked through a few fires as a family. The Dunbars have fought the flames since day one. I should have worn a thermal white dress as I walked down the aisle. I can’t think of one year of my marriage where we haven’t had an explosive catastrophe.
Phoenix would be 6 this year. I imagine her dancing around heaven in pig tails and princess dress. I am sure she will show me all the sweet spots when we are reunited. Her ten tiny fingers left a lasting imprint on all our lives.
When my step daughter picked out her name, we were not exactly thrilled. You want to name her what? We privately joked about how perhaps one day she might have a sibling named Dallas or Orlando.
But today, I tell you her name was quite prophetic. In fact, Baby Phoenix helped her Abuela make a very brave choice today.
I’ve prayed for a few weeks now about my “one word” theme for 2018. I’ve tried to tune in to God’s voice the quiet. I am a terrible listener though, and just like last year, I wasn’t ready to “receive” with a surrendered heart.
I kept questioning. I didn’t want to walk the blazing path in front of me.
But here’s the thing: sometimes, you’re supposed to walk through the fire.
God has promised the fire will not consume me, but transform me.
On January 1st, I opened up a shiny, new book, and Bianca Juarez Olthoff encouraged me to play with fire because there’s always a purpose for the flames:
There will be proverbial fires that threaten our lives, moments that make us feel like all hope is gone and nothing can or will ever change. But I want to remind you, the fire that can be dangerous is the same fire that can refine and transform. It’s not about our circumstances; it’s about what we’re made of.” (p. 12)
I am not a fan of Greek Mythology or an adherent to early Catholic mysticism. But I am a believer in resurrection.
If you’re life is in ashes right now, remember God delights in making beautiful things out of dust.
Fire refines. First God, breaks our pride into tiny pieces. Then, He melts away our impurities in a crucible of affliction. Every fleck of fleshy fluff rises to the surface and is removed until we reveal His image.
This year, I want to stop fearing the fire and pray:
Lord, refine me through the flame.
Want to join me? To help you get started, I’m sharing a copy of My Pray Big Prayer Calendar with you. Sign up today as a member of the Wildfire Faith Community and grab a copy in our Faith Fuel Library. Print out your copy and start each morning inviting God to strengthen your step and breathe fresh wind into your weary spirit.
As we surrender to the flame on our knees, our Savior will help us fuel a wildfire faith.
One glorious day soon, we will rise up from the ashes forever and dance in glory. This Abuela plans on getting her praise on right next to a little girl in pigtails.
When you’ve emerged out of the fire fully restored, you will reflect His face and recognize He is faithful.
My One Word for 2018 is
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It’s hard to understand how something so hard can be used for good, but truly, God is able to bring life out of the ashes. I’m sorry for your pain, but I commend you for embracing what God is calling you to, in spite of the difficulty.
I also find it amazing that God was so kind as to lead your step-daughter in her choice of the name, Phoenix Jewel. Wow.
Oh, I am so sorry to hear of your deep loss. God bless and comfort you in every moment of grief.
Thank you, Cheryl. I know you are walking through the valley of grief right now. Love and prayers heading your way. HUGS
That’s a bold word, Lyli! Praying your feel God’s gentle yet mighty love as He walks you through this journey in 2018! Blessings!
Girl, I am shaking in my knees. This is the 2nd year in a row God gives me a word that makes me want to hide under the covers. Thanks for praying for me!
Lyli, this is truly one of the most powerful, beautiful posts I’ve read on your blog. Thank you for sharing your heart with us. Your word choice is well-suited for your current season. Blessings to you today!
Lyli, I am so sorry for your loss. Yet out of this loss, God brought this powerful and beautiful post. Thank you so much. I am so grateful He is with us even in the fire and when we come through, we reflect Him and come to better know His faithfulness. Lyli, thank you for being a reflection of our Lord constantly. xo
Lyli, your posts are always powerful. You took something heartbreaking and turned it into this beautiful post. Thank you for the inspiration today.
Lyli, so sorry my sweet friend about your little princess in heaven. This is a powerful and vulnerable post that reached me and sure to reach many with the intended message. Love this, “WHEN YOU’VE EMERGED OUT OF THE FIRE FULLY RESTORED, YOU WILL REFLECT HIS FACE AND RECOGNIZE HE IS FAITHFUL.” Amen and Amen! Hugs!
Oh, Lyli, the pain of losing a child is so intense. Thank you for sharing your story of hope and trust. Your word, refine, is a beautiful one.
I’m so sorry about your granddaughter, Lyli. But I rejoice in what God is doing in your life and through your ministry. He’s refining us.
Thank you for daring to share that heartbreak with us.
And thank you for looking for a beautiful outcome in spite of the sorrow.
Whenever I hear the word “refine” I think of Elisabeth Elliot with her no-nonsense approach to life and godliness, because she asked, with a certain amount of irony: “Do you suppose there’s a refining fire that isn’t hot?”
Sometimes I forget about the heat.
excellent quote, thanks, michele.
Love Elisabeth Elliot. 🙂
So many things we won’t understand this side of heaven. I chose Trust as my word. Trusting God by putting one foot in front of the other when we can’t see where we are going and the fire hurts.
My friend, He will be with us every step of the way. Praying for you daily as I know you are facing a fire in this season.
Thanks for sharing about your grandbaby. So sorry! Thankful that you allow God to refine you in the fire and share. Excited about your prayer calendar! Signed up!
Yay! I hope it is a blessing to you, Amy. I am really finding it timely in my life. Today’s prayer matched perfectly with the devotional I read.
I am so sorry for your loss. Yes, he is refining us with all of this pain. There is a purpose to it all. May your 2018 be blessed for you and your family! Thanks for hosting!
I absolutely love your reminder that fire doesn’t consume us but transform us. We go through some pretty hard stuff in life, but when we have God on our side, we can be sure that the best is yet to come and our life will never end.
Easy to say, but hard to live sometimes. I am glad He goes before us and shows up strong when I am weak. Happy New Year to ya!
now that is a scary word for the year! i will print out the prayer calendar. blessings on your decembers to come.
Oh Lyli, I’m so sorry for your loss. :'( ((Hug)) — “Refine,” what a lovely word for 2018. I look forward to hearing all that He teaches you through this focus. Happy New Year, friend. xoxo
P.S., wanted to let you know that your linkup tweet is only showing “I’m finding” for me. Not sure if it’s that way for everyone, but thought I’d let you know, just in case. <3
Oh my! Thanks
I too, am sorry for your loss, and agree, the name was a perfect choice. I’m a deep thinker, endured a few fiery furnaces, I believe there are things we just don’t know, out of His mercy, because we are not able to understand them but that He will reveal some things in time as we grow in grace. There is just no way we could make His decisions and care for everyone justly. After joining a prayer wall and praying for many people over the summer I was spent. But I have been blessed to see the miraculous in both children and adults, I was hesitant about posting, on my blog, with her parents permission, the Miracle of Emma Grace. She is now 4 mos old. She had two intestinal surgeries at two days old and was not expected to live. Dr. said she’d wear a colostomy hr whole life if she did. Well, she lived and wears diapers. No one knows everything but we know the one who does. I was concerned about how people would feel experiencing loss, but every testimony touches someone, and maybe it gives them a little more faith to believe in miracles. I like the word receive, it’s just what He’d like us to do. God bless.
I loved reading about your Phoenix – and how one day you will dance on the streets of gold with her. #resurrection #joy
Hello Lyli. Thank you for sharing your heart and your pain. I love that we can look back and see the fingerprints of God with situations – like JP’s name. Those little situations help me to trust that He is indeed in charge of every detail. That’s something my mind cannot fully comprehend. I love your heart to embrace REFINE… I seem to be resisting what word the Lord has for me. Hugs and Love!
Oh no! 🙁 It makes me very sad to hear about Phoenix Jewel. It will be a sweet reunion one day when you get to spend eternity together! Refine is a brave choice for 2018–I know God will use it wisely in your life. Blessings to you, Lyli.
Lyli. Friend. I admire your heart and spirit of obedience. We have not met face-to-face, but I feel sure I know one reason you chose to share your painful wrestling with God with us. You hope your experience will help and encourage others. Thank you, Lyli. Your willingness to share gives hope and help to many; you glorify God. I am grateful our paths joined.
Dear Lyli..heartbreaking, though inspirational as ever..
Refine! What a courageous choice.praying Gods grace and power are made perfect during this year of refinement for you ????????
What a powerful word for the year! Refining silver and gold is an art of burning away all the impurities so the beauty of what lies beneath brightly shines. He has a bright year ahead for you! And thank you for sharing your tender heart!!
Lyli,
I am so sorry for your loss. So many things we just don’t understand on this side of heaven.
I loved your post and you have fired me up. I too am not a good listener so I don’t have my word yet. Hopefully this week. I love yours even though it is a bit scary.
There is trepidation in choosing a word that is not an easy one. I remember when God gave me the word endurance one year-yet, it was the word that most impacted me of all the words for the year I’ve had. Thank you for being transparent about your struggle with loss and life’s trials. I thinks it’s helpful when we’re honest that the Christian life is not the easy life, though it is the best one!