For over a year, I woke up every morning and made myself get out of bed and get dressed to face the day. I created a morning play list of worshipful music to help me push past the fear, and I’d stand in front of the mirror and give myself a pep talk.

You can do this. God is bigger than this. This is just a dark season, not hell. It only feels like hell, but the sun will shine again.

We’d buried two very important people in our lives within the space of 60 days, and everywhere I looked someone was crying. My best friend was sleeping alone in a bed of grief for the first time in 20 years. Her two girls were wondering why daddy was gone, and I just couldn’t make it better.

And then, because the enemy is a stinker, and he likes to kick you when you are down, we said goodbye to our Gisela. She was like a mother to my husband. She’d taken him on trips and baked him cookies his whole life. That strong German woman stood up to Cancer and shook her fist at it with the resolve of a woman who’d already survived Hitler and losing her husband to another woman. Cancer was not bigger than our Gisela.

Except it was.

And she never made her peace with God. We prayed over her until the end. And on the day when she took her last breath without asking Jesus to receive her, my husband had a panic attack.

My two closest loves were both walking through the darkest valley.

So, I stood in front of the mirror every morning, and I asked God to help us make it through the day.

Show up, Jesus. We need you.

The drive to work was an hour long every morning, and God and I did a lot of business in the car. I pleaded the blood of Christ over my husband’s work day. I asked the Holy Spirit to invade the 4 walls of my best friend’s house as she homeschooled. I prayed Psalm 91 verse by verse over them both until I had it memorized.

When life hits you hard, prayer is a girl’s best friend…

I’m sharing “On Persevering in Prayer When It’s Painful” at Dr. Michelle Bengston’s today.

To read the rest of this post, join me here.

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 If you are visiting from Dr Michelle’s today,

welcome to my little space on the web!

Here you will find fuel for a wildfire faith to help you

• • LOVE DEEP: Fervently extend God’s kindness and grace to pesky people.
  • PRAY BIG: Go down fighting on your knees with fire in your bones.
  • HOPE FULL: Stay tethered to a confident anticipation that keeps your heart ablaze.
  • STAND STRONG: Rest courageously on God’s promises with red-hot resolve. .

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