His explosive tone of voice put me on edge. I asked him to adopt a kinder response, and he retorted with a sea of expletives. No matter how hard I try to avoid conflict with this person, a wide chasm of misunderstanding seems to separate us.

I got up from the comfortable chair and announced the visit was over. “I love you, but I must leave now. It is not right for you to reply with such unkind words.”

I picked up my things and walked out of that dark house.

On the way home, we bought chick fila as a consolation prize. I ordered a coke — because fizzly soda helps calm my nerves. I tuned in to the Christian radio station, and we turned our thoughts toward a more positive note.

You can cover me with rancor, but I will raise a hallelujah in return.

A broken soul can cut me to the quick, but I don’t have to let the wound stay open. I can apply the Gospel to my pain and persevere in grace.

I immediately texted several friends and asked them to pray for my prickly loved one. I made pointed efforts to love deep in the days that followed.

I chose to persist in loving this person not because I felt like it. I pressed in with God’s love because Jesus gave His all for me, and He calls me to wash dirty feet in His name.

Do you find it impossible to choose to be the bigger person and love deep in the middle of a conflict?  I get it.  It’s not easy to keep reaching out with wide-open arms when someone is holding up fists in your face.

God is pleased when we persevere in loving deep. He wants us to continue to pour His love over our prodigals, pesky neighbors, and persnickety family members.

Loving deep in hard spaces is sometimes the cross we must bear.

4 Ways to Love Deep in the Middle of a Conflict

Suffer with and Sustain with Support

God loves us at our darkest, and we are called to do the same. We can choose to affirm our affection for someone even when a prickly person is being disagreeable. Be the warrior who always stands in the gap in prayer and fights for the good. You might not love what someone says, but you can look beyond their words and speak life in return.  

“Put up with one another. Forgive. Pardon any offenses against one another, as the Lord has pardoned you, because you should act in kind.” (Colossians 3:13, Voice)

Believe in the best

We can give our loved ones the benefit of the doubt whenever possible. Let’s keep the faith and not give way to cynicism or apathy. Trust that things are going to get better, and this is just a bump in the road you can patch up. Don’t get stuck in bitterness and purpose to move on to a more beautiful day. Pray through every sticky situation and stick with your people. 

“Hatred keeps old quarrels alive, but love draws a veil over every insult and finds a way to make sin disappear.” (Proverbs 10:12, TPT)

Hope without Limit

No one is beyond hope. God can do anything, and He is still changing lives. Picture a beautiful redemption to come in your pesky loved one’s life. God has thoughts of peace toward this person, and Christ will never stop pursuing a lost soul. 

“Here’s what I’ve learned through it all: Don’t give up; don’t be impatient; be entwined as one with the Lord. Be brave and courageous, and never lose hope. Yes, keep on waiting—for He will never disappoint you!” (Psalm 27:14, TPT)

Persevere through the Uncomfortable

When we realize how God has embraced us in our own brokenness, we are compelled to set aside our expectations for perfection in others. Love endures through the ugly. Never give up on someone and patiently speak the truth in love. It’s God’s kindness that leads people to change their stubborn ways, and so we must respond with compassion to win the war for their souls.

“With tender humility and quiet patience, always demonstrate gentleness and generous love toward one another, especially toward those who may try your patience.” (Ephesians 4:2, TPT)

Loving deep starts with letting God pour His love into us. As we expose our own hurts to the Lord and embrace His unconditional love, the Holy Spirit will fill our hearts up with everlasting love. (Romans 5:5)

To help remind you how much God loves you, I’ve created a beautiful list of 7 Scriptural promises for you to meditate on this week. Sign up today as a member of the Wildfire Faith Community and  grab a copy in our Faith Fuel Library. Print out your copy and start each morning letting God’s love wash over you as you worship the One who loves you most. 

With God’s help, we can love deep and tear down those walls of discord. “Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.” (I Corinthians 13:7, NLT).  Choosing to love is hard, but your sacrifice will bring healing. Stubborn hearts soften as we step forward with open hearts and arms outstretched. Love changes everything.

Choosing to love deep never fails to make a difference in a conflict.

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