Have you ever been in the room with someone, and a conversation is taking place — except you are not fully present?   Do you tend to “zone out” in conversations with family?  Is it hard for you to stay focused?  I must admit that this week this happened to me.   I had to ask my husband to repeat what He had said because I was distracted by my laptop.  I was not fully engaged. The ironic thing is that all week God has been talking to me about the importance of being a good listener.  (Obviously, I need to hear this more than once!).  I’ve learned a few things this week about “perking up” my ears, that I wanted to share.

Lessons Learned about Listening:

1.  A good friend pointed me to a helpful article by Anna Mannarino over for Relevant titled “How to Help Your Friend Fight Depression.”   Anna’s comments on “learning to listen”  grabbed my attention:

I need you to tell me true things, but first I need to know that I have been heard. I need grace when I say, “I’m the most miserable person alive!” Understand that right now, I probably do believe that.

Don’t immediately shoot me down with, “That’s not true!” Instead, let me know that you’ve heard me with something like, “Wow. You must feel pretty bad right now. You feel pretty alone, like no one else can really understand what you’re going through.”

2.  Then, I came across Cheryl’s post “Eleven Times to Be Quiet” at Homespun Devotions.  She challenged:  

But, though we enjoy speaking our minds, and in spite of all of our efforts to communicate, there are times when it is truly in our best interest and the best interest of others around us… to just be quiet. To settle down and let someone else speak. To manifest that meek, gentle, quiet spirit, “which is in the sight of God of great price.” To be the type of listener we want others to be.

3.  Next, I read another Relevant article by Michael Hidalgo titled “When Did Christians Get so Mean?”  Michael beautifully explains a key benefit of learning to listen:

If our deepest desire is to know the truth, then we will be open to listening—not just speaking—because there is a good chance someone else may share a thought, insight or wisdom we have yet to learn. And when our desire for the truth surpasses our desire to be right, then we will be open and always seek first to listen and learn.

4.  So, this lead me to do a little research on “The Art of Listening,” and I struck gold when I found this amazing post by Robin Dance over at The Art of Simple.  You need to just head on over there and read the whole piece, but here is the part that hit me the hardest:

Be sensitive to what’s being said.  Sometimes those you’re with don’t need you to say a word.  That’s when active listening makes a huge difference–you’ll know they need you to give them the time and space to spill their insides.  Your only response might be to shake your head in empathy, to hold their hand, to hug them tight.

5.  Finally, I am learning that listening is not only important in my relationships here on earth, but it is vital in my relationship with my God.  Angela Perritt reminded me in her book You are Loved, and in this VLOG in this blog post.  Here is a quote from the book that I underlined and have revisited several times this week:

There is something about being still, quieting our spirits, our minds, and our bodies that helps us focus on God.  I have heard it said that God is a gentleman.  He will not break down a door but rather will quietly knock at the door of your heart, waiting for you to let Him inside.  The problem is our lives are so busy and loud that many of us do not hear Him knocking.

Q4U:  Are you a good listener?  How do you develop good listening skills?

I am sharing “Listen Up” and joining like-minded sisters this weekend at Saturday Linky Love, Whatever is Lovely, Five on Friday, Friday Finds, and The Friday Five.