Lay Me Down
Photo Credit: Katie Grimmer-Laversanne, via Free Images
I am not good at waiting. I guess because I grew up in the age of microwaves and instant everything.
I wish I could tell you that while I sit in the waiting room I am peacefully at rest, but that is not the case.
In actuality, I am more of a Sara type. I want to make things happen at any cost.
I think God needs my help.
I know He is the Savior of the world in my head, but sometimes that doesn’t drop down to my heart. So, I come up with contingency plans.
I think about what I can do differently and say better in hopes of changing things.
But then He puts me in a corner where I am helpless, and all of my scheming is unveiled.
He leaves me bare, and I realize that my way is lifeless.
When I demand my way, I end up with nothing.
I end up in the exact spot I feared to enter.
There in the darkness, I realize that I am not alone. He speaks to me tenderly. He woos me to His side with words of compassion. He picks me up and lifts me out of the mire.
I lift up empty hands to Him and hope blooms again.
Maybe you are like me — reluctant to trust Him with everything. Maybe you have schemed and tried to save yourself.
If you’ve landed in a dark place, I want to remind you that you don’t have to stay there. You can offer up your pain and brokenness to Him.
You don’t have to be a Sara type.
Let’s choose differently.
I want to join in with Anna. I want to take my grief and my loneliness and my shattered dreams and offer them up to Him.
I want to worship with reckless abandon day and night.
I want to persist in praise.
I want to keep looking forward with hope for my Salvation.
Lay me down, Lord. Make my life an altar.
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This year, my desire is to lift up holy hands and “Pray Big.” Want to join me? I’ve created a private “Pray Big” Facebook group for like-minded sisters to share their stories and surrender each one to our mountain-moving God in prayer. Let’s cry out to God together.
Yes, I come up with contingency plans as well and always regret it. Not because He’s waiting to blast me but because I chose to go my own way instead of walking in step with His Spirit which is always the right path to take.
This is where God has me too, trusting Him and letting go of my desire to control or try to change things myself.
I used to be the most impatient person even when I was a teenager. Then I came to Ecuador and had a HUGE dose of teaching about patient. It took some years (I’m a bit stubborn person) but I started to learn that impatience is only going to hurt me. And nothing moves faster no matter how annoyed I get, it actually makes things slower.
Then came my marrital problems and made the years before seem like elementary school on patience. I’m assuming I’m doing my masters degree right now, lol. But I did ask for patience myself.
It’s a bit risky to pray sometimes. Because God does give us exactly what we ask for.
That is why I usually add, please, be gently with. Teach me little by little and don’t give me more than I can take.
“I think God needs my help.” This is me! I plan and plan and go and go and things don’t always work out the way I hoped. Then I stop and think – did I pray first? Did I really listen?
I went to the fb page you have set up and am pending…. Thank you for doing this – what a great opportunity to fellowship in prayer across cyber miles.
Janet
Lyli, I have chosen “expectant” as my 2015 word. I am “wanting” to believe that I will wait, expecting God to be at each corner I turn. But I often do not even give Him a chance to be there for I have passed the corner and never batted an eye. I am gone! I am running the show for that moment. It is only Feb. 3rd of this new year. I am so thankful that God is patient with me and is waiting for me wherever I happen to look up.
Learning is my game, I do believe.
Your post has given me food for thought.
Caring through Christ, ~ linda
I wrote about waiting this week too. Lovely words here. You touched my heart with this post.
Ah, so much in these words that have spoken to my heart. Yes, I want to persist in praise, too. I want to quit feeling compelled to make things happen at any cost. I love this post. Thank you!
Anne
I have been going through a very difficult time in my life, everything and I mean everything has flown out of control. I have questioned every decision I have ever made. Praying big is the only way I have come through to where God wants me. He has been with me through the darkest days and has never left my side. It is so good to know that there are others out there who have taken things into their own hands to try to give God some help. We can be so very foolish and full of ourselves. I am so very glad that God gives us another chance and he never leaves us. Thanks for your beautiful words.
Saw on a post the other day, “Waiting is the hardest part of HOPE.”
Isn’t it the truth?
xo Visiting from Holley’s
This is beautiful.
Sharing.
visiting from Three Word Wednesday Linkup
Oh I love this. I actually have a post brewing in my own head about instant gratification. I feel like it gets harder and harder as society pushes faster and faster. But God is bigger than our culture so I pray I can live set apart from what society wants. So glad you linked up at #ThreeWordWednesday.
So, my big revelation recently as to why I don’t rest is because I do not trust. But I am learning that part of being whatever sacrifice God wants me to be (not just what kind of sacrifice I want to be) requires trust. Trust without a contingency. I don’t know what will come in the resting, but I am trusting whatever will be good, as He is good.
Lyli – there is just so much I love about this post. On a day where I just want to cry from the exhaustion of being pulled in every direction, reading this reminds me to just rest in Him. To lift up my tears of exhaustion to Him and rest in the Holy of holies.
Thank you.
“When I demand my way I end up with nothing” I love this – I know this and so with you I declare my life is an altar to God – such an encouraging post thank you
Beautifully expressed, and I love the heading picture.
However…in this dark place where I find myself, I find that God expects me to carry on with His work, and with faith when he seems far away, attending to other problems.
Don’t worry, God. I got this.
He trusts me to handle pain and illness and the terminal diagnosis, with a positive attitude and the resolve that there is always one more thing I can do.
One more positive thing., in every moment of the time that’s left.
Love this Lyli! Praying big and then stepping back to let God take care of things in His timing is a great thing to surrender to. I understand how hard waiting can be and I love how God over and over throws us into situations that we have no choice but to wait. Blessed you joined in over at The Weekend Brew. Blessings!
Yes, I want to lay it all down for him. I want to offer it all up. I want to see his glory. Thank you for your heart felt words! Thank you for joining the #RaRalinkup. I am excited to see what you have to say this week!
Beautifully written. Surrender is a process…a learning process. Sometimes it takes more strength to let go than it does to hold on. Thankful that He takes my brokenness and He heals and restores.
Blessings!