It is Finished
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My spirit was unsettled.
Days later, I was still rehearsing a conversation. I thought about how I could have answered differently. I imagined myself speaking words that were more articulate and persuasive.
My husband gave me a hug and told me not to let people rent space in my head.
But, I wanted so badly to change the way the playback tape ended.
I wanted the last word. I wanted it so desperately.
I confess that I have a hard time stepping away from a verbal battle — especially in my head. I will revisit and replay conversations ad nauseam.
It’s ugly and unfruitful.
When I open up the Gospels I see Jesus speaking not a word. He does not defend Himself. He does not retaliate. He stays on mission.
He lays down His body and sacrifices Himself for those who mock Him. He forgives. He loves.
Recently, the worship team at my church introduced a song that is helping me to remember.
Lord, help me to remember You alone get the last word.
Something to think about…
Oh Lyli, that could just be me on a regular basis. I always feel that I could have said or done something that bit better and it takes a while for me to let each time go instead of it circuling around and around in my head.
Were we separated at birth ?- I suffer with the same proclivity of allowing others to rent my head space on both past and future conversations! But with God’s help, I’ve reduced it by 90%. Your post showing how Jesus kept on task really opened my eyes. Thanks for all the truth you write today, as usual.
Lyli, I haven’t heard that song in a bit but I love it! So grateful you shared it this morning as I needed to hear the line, “My fears are silenced in Your love.” It is in remembering His Word, His Promises that we become courageous. Friend, I love you for sharing this today. XO
I also replay conversations in my head and wish I could have said things differently. Usually, I wish that the other person would have followed the script in my head! Haha!
But I am so guilty of mulling over the things of the past for far too long. I am learning, but it’s taking awhile. 🙂
Thanks for sharing!!
I tend to replay those conversations in my head too. 🙁 Not sure why–it’s all imagination at that point. ha. I also like to remember at those times that Jesus was often silent when he was on trial. Yet in the end he still did have the last word. Then. And now for us too. Thanks for sharing this, Lyli. Good stuff. (And I love that song too! We sing it at church.)
Oh, I just love that, “Don’t let people rent space in your head.” I will need to remember that. I also want to be able to change the ending, change a mind or change a heart. Sometimes it is just not God’s timing.
Oh, how I struggle with re-playing conversations in my head. . . and re-hashing mistakes in my head, as well. Dear God, give us the strength to be more and more like your son!
Thank you so much for the opportunity to link up here. God bless you!
Oh, why do we do this to ourselves, Lyli? I understand for I want to have happy endings to everything. If a conversation steps to a beat that I cannot go along with or do not like, I want to pull away but because I do not, I have that conversation to play over and over again. If actions do the same thing, and I try to change them in myself or in someone else, I am left with bad feelings.
Jesus was silent. Jesus laid down His life. Jesus was as a sheep led to slaughter. We are His sheep. I read Philip Keller’s book on Psalm 23 and it is worth reading again, I believe, for he talks about sheep and shepherds and the behavior of the animal. It is so like we are and I found it to answer why we are called sheep.
~ from one sheep to another, my friend…
Caring through Christ, ~ linda
Lyli, it’s funny but I am reminded of your own words every time one of our dogs bark! Every single time we tell her to stop, she does…but then she gives one final funny sounding noise that reminds me that she likes to have the last word. She doesn’t know that having the last word is not quite as important as being obedient to the Master! I am glad I have learned a wee bit quicker than she has!!
I love your husband’s advice! Amen and amen to your message. Thank you for the encouragement.