When you Want to Move From Disappointment to Thanksgiving

When You Want to Move from Disapointment to Thanksgiving

Sometimes Thanksgiving is a time that leaves us at a loss for gratitude.

I remember when our family was in the middle of our adoption journey. We’d gone through 22 months of tumultuous ups and downs. After falling in love with a little girl and believing she was meant to be ours, we were told she had been given to another family. I grieved for months unwilling to surrender my vision and embrace God’s will. I allowed the grief to hold me in place unable to move forward toward whatever God might have planned for our family.

Until one evening amid 24-hours solo with God. It was Him and me – prayer, tears, and pouring out even the ugly parts of my heart, when I surrendered. I gave the child I loved back to God. I surrendered and accepted whatever story God may have for our family and my broken heart.

And that’s when the miracles began.

Through a series of connections only a miracle could explain, that little girl became ours. Not right away, but eventually it happened. In August of 2010 we traveled to meet her and declare our intentions before the Bulgarian Court. Our trip only confirmed the conviction I’d felt. This child was meant to be a Schumaker.

But then we had to go home empty handed. It was a two-visit process, and we had to leave our daughter behind and wait for paperwork to complete. They told us 3-5 months. However, by Thanksgiving of that year, we knew our wait would be longer. With every delay our daughter suffered without the love and care of a family.

She was hungry, sick, and longing for love. We’d told her we would come back, but after everyone who had let her down, would she or could she even believe what we said?

On Thanksgiving, as we filled our bellies with food and our time with family and love, our daughter lived in the gray world of a sterile orphanage.

I struggled to be thankful. I wondered where God was and why He would allow her to stay there.

Friend, have you ever been in that space that makes it difficult to be thankful? My guess is that at some point, you have. Life is difficult and provides much opportunity for disappointment.

Yet in the middle of those circumstances, God refines us. And on the other side of that refining we get a different glimpse of thanksgiving.

In my book, Surrendered Hearts: An Adoption Story of Love, Loss, and Learning to Trust, I wrote about the beauty I found through the refining fire.

The world of adoption has opened my eyes to some ugly and painful aspects of life. But it has also enabled me to see the power of God, the power of His love, and the power found in embracing who we are as His children.

-Lori Schumaker, Surrendered Hearts

Sometimes, friend, we get a happy ending, yet other times we simply do not. That’s when we wish we could take the pain away. It’s when we wish we could make it better in an instant, because that’s our instinct when we love someone.

But none of us can do that. What we can do, though, is assure you that God hasn’t left you. He is right there in the middle of the fire you are facing. And no matter the outcome, I can promise you that a day will come again where you will be able to lift up a heart of thanksgiving.

You’ll find joy…

….and because you have been refined by disappointment, you will be quicker to recognize your blessings.

The little things will make a greater difference in your life because taking things for granted becomes harder to do. Being refined by the fire of life grows us in our ability to recognize and give thanks for all that is good in our lives.

But I thank God, who always leads us in victory because of Christ. Wherever we go, God uses us to make clear what it means to know Christ. It’s like a fragrance that fills the air.

-2 Corinthians 2:14 GW

This week, as we prepare for Thanksgiving, let’s challenge each other to notice the good and thank our God who always leads us in victory because of Christ. Gratitude is a powerful weapon, sweet friends. Like a fragrance, it fills the air and passes from one to the other. May we be a part of that fragrance and begin a momentum of gratitude around us. Can we even imagine the world we would live in with gratitude at the forefront?

You and I? We will struggle at times to put forth a heart of gratitude. But when we fall off the gratitude wagon, we will get back up. Jesus made sure to give us re-do’s of every kind when He gave His life on the cross and then conquered death with victory.

So, let’s start today – one moment at a time toward living a life of thanksgiving.

 


 

Lori Schumaker

As wife, adoptive and biological mom, teacher, writer, speaker, and coach, Lori Schumaker’s heart is to encourage others to meet the challenges of life with the hope of Christ. Wherever you find yourself today – walking through the difficult, longing to find your identity and follow your purpose, or simply experiencing a season of beautiful chaos, Lori’s blog found at www.LoriSchumaker.com is a place where you can find the encouragement you need today. In her first book she shares her family’s adoption story and lessons on surrender, trust, and loving well. You can also connect with her onΒ Facebook, Instagram,Β Twitter, and Pinterest.

 

A lifetime of knowing. Decades of praying. Years of paperwork, research, and planning. Lots of tears. And the growing of faith in the waiting.

Surrendered HeartsOne look into a pair of sparkling brown eyes, and Lori and Bryan Schumaker fell head-over-heels in love with a beautiful young girl in Bulgaria. Certain this was the child God intended for them, they stepped confidently into the adoption process they’d been preparing for. They thought they knew what to expect, and they didβ€”but there was so much more.

The application process moved smoothly ahead, and they began making plans for their daughterβ€”only to be informed she’d been adopted by a family in Italy. Heartbroken, they struggled to move on, until, through a series of incredible events, they learned their daughter still languished in her Bulgarian orphanage. Turning heaven and earth, the Schumakers started over. Mix-ups, red tape, inexplicable delays, and a difficult judge threatened the adoption, but they were determined to bring their child home.

In a true story of learning that trust means surrendering your version of how the story should unfold, Lori and Bryan finally let goβ€”of their dream, of their daughter, of their fears and frustrations. And in that relinquishment, God began to move.

Lori’s bookΒ Surrendered Hearts: An Adoption Story of Love, Loss, and Learning to TrustΒ is available for purchase here.


 

The Refined Series

Fire refines. First God, breaks our pride into tiny pieces. Then, He melts away our impurities in a crucible of affliction. Every fleck of fleshy fluff rises to the surface and is removed until we reveal His image.

This year, I want to stop fearing the fire and pray:

Lord, refine me through the flame.

Refine | lylidunbar.com

 

For 2018, I asked God to give me a word to guide my year, and He whispered the word Β β€œRefine.” Β For 10 months, Bruce and I have been walking through the fire and trying to not resist the refining work He is doing in us.

I am a very slow learner, and recently it occurred to me I should step aside and create more space to listen and learn during this season.Β I long to sit down for a heart-to-heart chat with a wise friend who will remind me the fire has a grander purpose. Thankfully, I am blessed to know several women who’ve walked through the fire and emerged beautifully refined, and I’ve invited them to share their story here with the Wildfire Faith Community once a month.

God has promised that the fire will not consume us, but transform us.

When You Want to Move from Disappointment to Thanksgiving with Free Printable

 

Β Sign up today as a member of the Wildfire Faith Community and Β grab a copy of the Refined Manifesto our Faith FuelΒ Library.

Refined Manifesto Printable

 


 

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Here you will find fuel for a wildfire faith to help you

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13 Comments

  1. Lori, this is a beautiful story of surrender, friend. I so appreciate it this morning as it goes right along with what God has already been speaking to my heart this week: Surrender!

  2. Such a wonderful story of facing the fire and surrendering to God’s perfect love! As I read this my mind was filled with one of my favorite scriptures… The refining pot is for silver and the furnace for gold, but the Lord tests hearts. Proverbs 17:3. This verse has helped me through a lot of fires and I pray that it will help someone here today. Blessings!

  3. Wow, Lori, that’s such a beautiful story of how God is working even when things look bleak. I’m so glad He was with you throughout the whole process and how He held you through it all. Thanks, Lyli for sharing Lori’s story. Blessings to you both!

    1. Thank you, Gayl! Those years helped me embrace the trust I needed. I didn’t know then that the years after Selah came home would be another difficult season. But because of the trust God had cultivated in us through our experience, we were better prepared and today I hold onto that trust believing He is making a way!

      Blessings and a Happy Thanksgiving to you!!
      Lori

  4. Thank you, Lori. “Gratitude is a powerful weapon.” I’m so enjoying hearing about your journey and how you allowed the Lord to orchestrate it, work behind the scenes and work on your heart in the process. Can’t wait to read the book. Happy Thanksgiving!

  5. Lori – It is so nice to see you here at Lyli’s beautiful website. I love your adoption story. Yes, it can be hard to be thankful when we can’t understand why God is not intervening. Yet, it is crucial we find what we have to be grateful for. God is always working.

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