Despicable Me

Despicable MePhoto Credit:  Samuel DaSilva, via Pixabay

 


One of the tough questions I have to answer when I meet with my spiritual accountability partner is “Are the ‘real you’ and the ‘visible you’ consistent?”

Really?

No.  My answer is always no.

No, because the “real me” is a whiny, self-centered, messed up blob of flesh.

The “real me” is not pretty.

The “real me” is sometimes pretty despicable.

I’ve been thinking about the “real me” this week — because I’m meeting with a Christian counselor, and she wants me to do a crafty project.  She gave me a box, and on the outside of the box, I am supposed to put pictures that characterize how I think others perceive me.  On the inside of the box, I was instructed to put pictures of how I perceive myself.

I am envisioning myself spending an uncomfortable hour on the couch in front of a therapist with my rather unpleasant box.

But, my sage counselor said something about the Gospel last week that I can’t stop thinking about.  She reminded me what the two most important commandments are

  • Love the Lord with all you’ve got
  • Love your neighbor as yourself

Apparently, I can’t love others  like Jesus unless I first learn to love myself and see myself through His eyes of grace.

Something to think about…

27 Comments

  1. Dear Lyli … As I work with my clients, I know God’s going to be bringing you to mind. Please know that I will be praying for you … and that I so admire your courage and wisdom in choosing to go in this healing direction.

    For I’ve been in your chair, too … and it was one of the smartest things I’ve ever done.

    Hugs, my friend.

  2. UGH! That’s a very good question! Will the real you please stand up?!? Thank God for grace. And the desire to be better.

    Thanks for hosting!

  3. Lyli, what a brave “project”. It’s funny but yesterday in my study time, I read Matt. 22:37-40 & the very words, “Love your neighbor as yourself” stood out. And I wrote in my journal … This made me ask myself, “How well am I loving myself?” Not in a haughty way. But we will love others the way in which we love ourselves and tend to our own souls. As we see ourselves as having worth in God’s eyes, we will then come to view others as those He created & love them more deeply.
    I am grateful to you for this post. I am thinking I need to spend some more time reflecting on how well I am loving myself so that I will be able to love others more better.
    For the record, Lyli, you are not despicable (although I know how you meant it). I have found you to be most encouraging & kind & appreciate you! Thank you for connecting with me in this blogging world 🙂 I am grateful for each connection God brings my way!

  4. What an interesting art project! I’m sure it would be very revealing to each of us if we were to undertake that ourselves. Do let us know how it goes. You’re brave, Lyli!

  5. Loved your words today, Lyli. All of them. Every one. Your transparency about the “real” you. Your thoughts on the project. (Mine would be the same. Apparently you’ve given me some things to think about.) And your thoughts on loving yourself. Loving God and loving my neighbor have been whirling around in big circles in my mind over the last year and in the midst of that, at a homeschooling conference of all places, I heard a woman speak on the link between loving others and loving ourselves.I’d never considered the fact that one of the reasons I fail miserably at loving others well is not only because I am admittedly self-focused, but that somehow in the midst of that, I don’t really love or approve of myself. That was eye opening. Needless to say, it’s been a thought-provoking, fruitful, year. Thanks for sharing your thoughts with us today.

    1. Natalie, I love it when God makes connections like this for me in my heart. LIke you, I spend weeks ruminating about it, and God tends to remind me.

      You will be happy to know that after writing this post, I got up the next morning, and the You Version verse of the day was Galatians 5:14 (see the post after this one for the text).

      God makes me smile.

  6. Your post reminded me of a quote: “Live your life so that you could give your parrot to the town gossip.” It’s hard to be totally transparent all the time.

  7. Lyli,
    Your counselor gave you sage advice….it is one I keep learning and relearning…the more I receive God’s grace for my imperfections then the more grace I can give to others…blessings to you 🙂 Thanks for sharing wisdom with us.

  8. such a wise woman to be diving into this instead of waiting till you are older like me. I wish i would have had the opportunity to do this work earlier, but I am oh so grateful for it now. we were taught JOY, Jesus/Others/You…you, always last .. you are right, how can we love others when we can’t love ourselves. I always KNEW this, now I am learning to KNOW it.

  9. Do I ever understand these feelings. I have a hard time loving myself, so that makes it hard for me to love others. Thank you for sharing at The Weekend Brew!

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