When You are Refined by Transitions

When You Are Refined by Transitions

Desperately we waited for answers as we sat by the hospital bed where my four-year old little girl was strapped down so she wouldn’t yank out her breathing tube. She was having seizures, hallucinations and ultimately had a blood plasma transfer. During the three weeks we were in the ICU of Children’s hospital, I experienced dramatic transitions with highs and lows of seeing God comfort and care for us through the support of the body of Christ. Β I felt deep wrenching pain when my daughter didn’t recognize me and hallucinated I was someone else trying to get her as she cried out for me.

Transitions and the unexpected have a way about exposing what we really believe about God. They open up our eyes to places of our hearts and minds we didn’t even know were there.

Two of our other kids, who we adopted at birth and are biological brothers, we’ve come to understand in the course of the last year have severe mental illness. Their explosive anger comes as quickly as turning on a faucet and over minor things like what is for dinner. Dealing with their daily explosions made the hospital visit feel like a retreat. Our life has been a constant place of transition trying to figure out and get each kid the help they need.

The boys constant irritability and opposition has brought us to a place of desperation for Jesus I didn’t know was possible. And exposed deep down doubts about God that never would have been exposed if all this didn’t happen. The cumulation of the boys and my little girl in the hospital brought thoughts to my mind like, β€œIs God powerless?” β€œIs He weak?” It has brought lies out of darkness and into the light. And when things are in the light they can be exposed for what they are, lies, rather than grow pungent in darkness.

What we believe about God is the most important thing about us and effects everything we think, say and do. Just as a crucible heats metals with intense heat to create something new and the smelter applies heat to extract out base metal and burn away impurities, the Lord uses intense transitions to purify our hearts and minds — to extinguish lies we believe about Him. β€œThe crucible for silver and a smelter for gold, but the Lord tests the heart.” (Prov. 17:3)

Maybe your transition didn’t come in an ER room or through mental illness but is still all too real. Perhaps your unexpected has brought thoughts about God to your mind you have never thought before. The propensity to believe things not true about God has always been there, but opportunity to believe it was not. God cares and loves us enough to expose the parts of us that will hurt us and others. Perhaps your situation is the means God wants to use to bring the refinement, to root out the lies you believe about Him. Perhaps what you believe about Him is so important that He would allow the frustration of transition to expose lies as He did me.

Though God is allowing changes we never intended, we can know that nothing in his plan will ultimately harm us, and everything in his plan will ultimately be good (Romans 8:28), His grace will always be sufficient (2 Cor. 12:9) and the One who examines the thoughts and emotions is a righteous God. (Ps 7:9)

As we face changes, we need to cling to the truth about who God is. He is an anchor big enough and strong enough to hold our souls in the midst of life’s storms. Some changes will feel like a tiny ripple, and others feel like a ten-foot wave. But no matter what changes we face, we need not fear, hide or despair. Our rock and anchor will help us through every step. He tells us to, β€œFear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” (Isaiah 41:10)

So when change seems to smack you in the face, fix your eyes on Jesus, the Author and Perfecter of your faith. For the joy set before Him, He endured the cross and sat down at the right hand of God.

When your circumstances expose lies you believe about God, consider it a gift because the lie loses its power.

β€œMay the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.” (Rom. 15:13)

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Meet Laura:

Laura Krokos

Laura’s desire is to point to Jesus and lead people to be in awe of God. She is married and has six kids. She and her husband have been in full-time ministry since 2002 serving with Master Plan Ministries. Laura has extensive experience leading Bible studies, discipling women, speaking to groups and is the Founder of the internationally popular blog MissionalWomen.com that helps women live on mission for the glory of God. She has written seven books/Bible studies, designed two popular ministry tools and has created journals for quiet times for many books of the Bible. You can find her on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, YouTube, and Instagram.


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The Refined Series

Fire refines. First God, breaks our pride into tiny pieces. Then, He melts away our impurities in a crucible of affliction. Every fleck of fleshy fluff rises to the surface and is removed until we reveal His image.

This year, I want to stop fearing the fire and pray:

Lord, refine me through the flame.

Refine | lylidunbar.com

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For 2018, I asked God to give me a word to guide my year, and He whispered the word Β β€œRefine.” Β For 10 months, Bruce and I have been walking through the fire and trying to not resist the refining work He is doing in us.

I am a very slow learner, and recently it occurred to me I should step aside and create more space to listen and learn during this season.Β I long to sit down for a heart-to-heart chat with a wise friend who will remind me the fire has a grander purpose. Thankfully, I am blessed to know several women who’ve walked through the fire and emerged beautifully refined, and I’ve invited them to share their story here with the Wildfire Faith Community once a month.

God has promised that the fire will not consume us, but transform us.

When You Are Refined by Transitions with Free Printable

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Β Sign up today as a member of the Wildfire Faith Community and Β grab a copy of the Refined Manifesto our Faith FuelΒ Library.

Refined Manifesto Printable

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Β If you are visiting from Missional Women today,

welcome to my little space on the web!

Here you will find fuel for a wildfire faith to help you

    • LOVE DEEP: Fervently extend God’s kindness and grace to pesky people.
    • PRAY BIG: Go down fighting on your knees with fire in your bones.
    • HOPE FULL: Stay tethered to a confident anticipation that keeps your heart ablaze.
    • STAND STRONG:Β Rest courageously on God’s promises with red-hot resolve.

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YOU’LL GET A FREE COPY OF β€œ4 SUREFIRE WAYS TO IGNITE YOUR FAITH”

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I’m sharing a copy of My Pray Big Prayer Calendar with you.Β JoinΒ the Wildfire Faith Community and Β grab a copy in our Faith Fuel Library. Print out yourΒ copy and start each morning inviting God to strengthen your step and breathe fresh wind into your weary spirit. Β 


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ARE YOU STRUGGLING TO LIVE LIFE BASED ON YOUR VALUES RATHER THAN OTHER PEOPLE’S EXPECTATIONS? Β I CAN PARTNER WITH YOU TO HELP YOU CLARIFY THE CALLING GOD UNIQUELY CREATED YOU TO FULFILL

CHECK OUT MY COACHING SERVICES TO START WORKING ON A PLAN TO REFINE YOUR PASSION AND PURPOSE.

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Refine Coaching

22 Comments

  1. I’m sorry for these struggles but I love how you’re seeing God work in them. It’s so true that he often uses the hard times to reveal more of himself to us or to work growth in us.

    1. I am so thankful that Laura shared her story with us. The wisdom she shared is going go help us all as we walk through our own fires.

    2. Thanks Lesley. Rom. 8:18 promises the sufferings of this present life are not worthy to be compared with the glory that will be revealed to us… So, God says it will be worth it. Clinging to that. πŸ™‚

  2. Laura, I am so sorry you have been through such heartbreak. I liked these words: “As we face changes, we need to cling to the truth about who God is. He is an anchor big enough and strong enough to hold our souls in the midst of life’s storms. ” You quoted my two favorite verses at the end of your post.

    1. I am so thankful our God is accessible, and that we can cling to Him during those difficult times. Loved the wisdom Laura shared with us today!

  3. “When your circumstances expose lies you believe about God, consider it a gift because the lie loses its power.” Wow – I never thought of it that way before. They present a great opportunity to pull weeds, so to speak, from our thinking. Thanks so much for sharing your experiences and what God taught you through them.

  4. Thank you, Laura, for this gorgeous theology lesson wrapped up in a story from your life. My concept of God is so often shaken by my circumstances, and I’m grateful for the reminder that he neither shifts nor changes.

    1. Yes, I love how Laura points us back to Truth and reminds us it’s not our emotions or circumstances that should guide our thinking. We need to stand on the promises — they are always a firm place to stand in this unstable world.

  5. Laura, your story is nothing short of amazing! Bless you for being there for your children under such challenging circumstances. God is with you!

  6. Thought provoking post Laura, very open & honest. Times like these can definitely uncover wrongly held core beliefs & doubts that need to be examined & processed with God & Jesus through the Holy Spirit.

    I remember a few beliefs of what I believed of God & how he loved, coming to the surface when I lost my daughter, then when I lost my son within 12 months of my daughter’s passing & then trust became a major issue when my late husband was diagnosed with brain cancer & died 12 weeks later.

    But He can help us through these times as only He can & we come out of the valley of the shadow of death with His wisdom & understanding.

    You’re most welcome to join me in a cuppa,
    Blessings,
    Jennifer

    1. Oh I just can’t even imagine… I’m so sorry.
      I would just love to sit down with coffee with you and hear your story and hear what God did with all that. I know He allows to show Himself as Redeemer etc. but the sorrow seems like it’d be so great that it might drown out seeing God. Have you written about it?

  7. Thank you, Laura, for sharing your story and thank you, Lyli! Praying for God to comfort, strengthen, encourage and supply all of your needs abundantly during this hard season.

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