4 Ways to Love Pesky People
I felt slimed.
I had approached the conversation open, available and receptive. The cynical response I received weighed me down and covered me in shame.
I felt suffocated, and I started to backpedal immediately. I gave a lame excuse for my departure and bolted out the door.
Safely in the refuge of my car, I replayed the conversation on the drive home. My mental CD player was stuck in repeat mode, and I couldn’t find the rewind button.
“Don’t let people rent space in your head,” Bruce advised as I vented on the phone.
He was right. My mind was cluttered with condemnation, and I needed to re-program my thinking.
When I got home, I picked up my Bible and found a comfy chair by the window. I spent a few minutes in prayer and listened to worship music. I breathed in God’s grace and remembered I am loved, accepted, and fully forgiven.
Spending time with pesky people can suck the life out of you. Thankfully, I have a God who specializes in bringing life into dark spaces.
Over the last few weeks, I’ve prayed quite a bit about how to deal with the difficult people in my life, and I keep hearing the Holy Spirit say two words:
Love deep.
I am guessing you may have a prickly person in your life as well, and I want you to know I can relate! I am glad God gives us do-overs because I have failed to respond with love many times. But, each new day provides a fresh opportunity for me to love more like Jesus.
4 Ways to Love Pesky People
Listen
If you dig into the depths of a pesky person’s story, you will discover an underlying theme of brokenness. Sit quietly and allow them to pour out their pain. When you feel the need to offer platitudes, try to pray through instead.
A fool takes no pleasure in understanding, but only in expressing his opinion…If one gives an answer before he hears, it is his folly and shame. (Proverbs 18:2 & 13, ESV)
Observe
The clamor that rises up from the heart of a difficult person is often really a cry for help. Look for ways to wash the dirty feet of a very discouraged individual.
Most important of all, continue to show deep love for each other, for love covers a multitude of sins. Cheerfully share your home with those who need a meal or a place to stay. God has given each of you a gift from his great variety of spiritual gifts. Use them well to serve one another. (I Peter 4:8-10, NLT)
Value
Each person displays a unique beauty that points to God. Consider what God is revealing to you about His character as you interact with someone very different from you.
Be happy with those who are happy, and weep with those who weep. Live in harmony with each other. Don’t be too proud to enjoy the company of ordinary people. And don’t think you know it all! (Romans 12:15-16, NLT)
Encourage
Pray for God to help you respond with His grace in gritty conversations. Fling away pride and persevere in forgiveness.
…Be joyful. Grow to maturity. Encourage each other. Live in harmony and peace. Then the God of love and peace will be with you. (II Corinthians 13:11, NLT)
I’ve learned to pray and prepare when I am going to spend time with pesky people. I must suit up with armor on and fill up with the supernatural strength of a God who loves beyond measure.
Loving a pesky person is possible as you press into the power of Jesus.
Are you ready to fire up your faith?
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I love your wise husband’s advice — and need to remember it (way too many tenants up there).
And I’m walking away with the word “value” like a pebble in my shoe. I don’t have permission to write people off just because they irritate me. Thanks for a thought-provoking (and convicting) few moments of grace here, Lyli.
I am with you, friend. It’s easy to say I am going to cross someone off my list… but God wrote my name on His list in red when I didn’t deserve it. He doesn’t give me an out.
Lyli, such a good and wise post. Pesky people can drain us quicker than we can even realize. Bruce put it excellently …. “Don’t let people rent space in your head.” So very true and I so want to remember to stop renting space out. We are on vacation so I have no post to link but I had to stop here to read this morning and am so glad I did! Blessings to you friend! xo
Hope you have a wonderful time away with your loves, friend. — I want to manage my thought life better, but some days, I lose the battle. I am thankful for His Word which reminds me what is true…. because my emotions tend to cloud my thinking.
I do the same thing, Lyli–I replay conversations over and over, torturing myself with details. You’ve inspired me to turn to God first the next time it happens. I love the idea of a comfy chair and worship music–sounds like just the right thing after a trying conversation.
Torture is a good word for it. — I need to learn to sit in the chair and prepare my heart before I am going to visit the tough cookie.
Oh, how I’m so thankful for do overs with prickly pesky people. I’ve always thought God puts these people in my pathway to grow me and stretch me lol. I love the quote, “don’t let people rent space in your head” my husband tells me this all the time! Lately, I feel God’s been simplifying things for me by gently reminding me that He gives us the power to do this if we just allow Him to do so through us. Thank you, great reminder that we’re not alone in this struggle.
Yes, I need to get out of the way. It’s not about me. God will win the battle if I just let Him do te fighting, not me.
So true! I’ve encountered a few pesky people lately and this is such s good reminder!
Glad you were encouraged, friend. Hugs
This is such a challenge, Lyli! and your encouragement is spot on. God seems to put certain people in our lives to challenge and inspire us, doesn’t He? I wonder sometimes who receives more of the blessings? Happy Friday, blessings on your weekend!
He has definitely refined me through interacting with my tough cookies. I guess it’s the silver lining — I am less of a spoiled brat as a result.
Thanks for hosting!
Very good advice. Thank you! I remind myself too that Christ loved us “while we were yet sinners” and wants us to love others the same way. I’m thankful for His enabling grace.
Yes! Grace is a gift meant to be shared.
I need to apply these words to myself. . . too often, I’m the pesky person, forgetting who I am in Christ.
I was a bit pesky myself yesterday. Had to slow down and apologize for my tone of voice. — Thanks for this reminder. xo
Oh I’m learning. I have a few very “high maintenance” people in my world – yes, sister, I am learning. There is great wisdom in silence.
Bruce has taught me so much about the power of keeping quiet, Susan. He loves my tough cookie well, and I am thankful.
Great words! Sometimes I believe the pesky people take issues with others out on us! Going to write down what your husband said – very wise words! I loved the book years ago titled “Irregular People”. There are some we have to deal with all our lives! Blessings.
I am not familiar with that book — going to look it up. Thanks for the tip!
Girl, you nailed it! Have you ever refused to answer the phone when caller ID reveals a potential pesky encounter? Guilty! I reckon I’ve had my days, too :-). You have a wonderful gift of communicating and pairing Scripture appropriately! I enjoy your posts, Lyli. Keep up the wonderful craft 🙂
I must confess I’ve let it go to voice mail more than once, friend. You know me. 🙂
Thanks for being such a cheerleader friend. Hugs
Yessss. Such wisdom. Thank you for reminding us via scripture that God gives us the tools we need to deal with difficult people. I had an encounter this weekend and had to just breathe… breathe deep.
Your husband’s advice is wonderful – I may have to borrow it! I could picture you curling up in your chair, reading and listening to God’s voice. What a great response! I agree with what you wrote – that is how I deal with “pesky people” as well – and I hope that those who may see ! me as “pesky” will show me the same love and grace. 🙂 Thank you for sharing such a wonderful post!
I’ve been sorely tempted the last couple of days in my feelings toward one of the difficult people in my life. Thanks for these wise, convicting thoughts!
I SO beyond needed this blog today. I have been even questioning how to handle hard to love people. I like how you said it PESKY. Because usually the underlying issue is a form of brokenness or pain.
“If you dig into the depths of a pesky person’s story, you will discover an underlying theme of brokenness. Sit quietly and allow them to pour out their pain. When you feel the need to offer platitudes, try to pray through instead.”
I am trying to avoid someone who lashed out at me, and after reading this I might need to find a way to approach them in a loving way to listen to what’s really going on in their heart. Thanks!